Memoirs of a nun

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2009-05-20 23:52:10

Last author: sequeena_rae
Owner: sequeena_rae

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^{Brought to you by [sequeena_rae] and Sister Lisa; [starry_bellend]}

^{There is a moral to every story...Except this one.

Mwahahaha.}

^{This wiki is for Sister Lisa. She has decided to become a nun. Yes, a nun.}

^{Sister Lisa's journey in pictures. Additional words by [sequeena_rae]}

^{Past memoirs are kept here: Memoirs.}

^{New! Memoirs talks!}

^{Memoirs of a nun in words by [starry_bellend]}

^{Entry nine - The mods versus count Dracula!}

^{After enjoying a steak and ale pie in the greyhound, I made my way in the dead of night towards a run down old building in the middle of Transylvania (I am forced to reside here these days after being removed from every other fucking country on the face of the planet!). I was then joined by my good friend Sarah.

Before entering the building I took out the holy blood of Christ and blessed the building by downing the bottle. We then proceeded inside and were greeted by one hell of a fucking shit hole. We thought fuck it God will keep us safe and so we got down to it (sleeping that is).

We had been asleep but 10 minutes when I was roused by a strange voice, which I thought in my drowsy state was calling "I vant to suck your breast" but I was later informed by my companion that it was actually my blood that he wanted. We stood up and stared at the creature. "Right! I've had enough of this fucking shit! Piss off out now before we're forced to beat you down!" With that Sarah was wrestled to the floor by the being and a syringe was stuck in her neck. I was in shock as he drew blood from my friend. He then squirted some into his mouth and the remainder was squirted into the face of an old woman who happened to be passing through the building. He than made his way towards me and I gave him my best "I cant believe you've just egged me" eyes. I could do nothing but use my holy powers to pray to god. I fell to my knees and began chanting "Neef neef neef neef". I was then joined in my chant by Sarah from the floor. We finally realised that this wasn't going to work and I resigned myself to my fate. He lifted up the syringe to my neck when suddenly he bent over and squealed.

It was only then that I realised that Sarah had stuck a light bulb in his japs eye, and that he was now paralysed. Before running for our lives we stood for a minute and laughed until we shat ourselves.

We then ran, to where who knows but I'll tell you one thing, the fucking wind blew off my habit, and I had to make a prick of myself chasing after it down the street. We then decided that we would travel to Paris to see if the virgin Mary really has bleeding eyes, and also to see ZA BOYZ in concert on the 15th.}

^{To be continued...}

^{This wiki is a piss take.

In other words, you get offended, it's bloody tough.}

^{Back to;

[starry_bellend]

[sequeena_rae]

We are the mods!}

2006-09-20 [Tingis]: You are crazy. This is hilarious XD

2006-09-20 [sequeena_rae]: Merci, credits must also go to [starry_bellend] for the hysterical poses and the diary :P

2006-09-20 [starry_bellend]: lmfao i look a pillock in the words of matt lucas

2006-09-20 [sequeena_rae]: What are you talking about? You are a pillock :P

2006-09-20 [starry_bellend]: no i am now offically a member of the roman catholic chruch lol omg i got somethin to tell u but utll ave to be in private coz it may cause offence lmao

2006-09-20 [sequeena_rae]: Foot in mouth is your middle name lmao :P

2006-09-20 [starry_bellend]: lmao i know that lol :P

2006-09-20 [sequeena_rae]: How did the walking go anyway? Feet sore? :P

2006-09-20 [starry_bellend]: lmfao no mun it was good ad a few strange looks lk off people in cars and comp kids lol

2006-09-20 [sequeena_rae]: Eh well, bum fucks.
Oh yeah, just after I left you, who should I bump into? Mr Gibbon making his daily rounds xD

2006-09-20 [starry_bellend]: lmfao who was he frog marching today lol

2006-09-20 [sequeena_rae]: No-one lmao for once xD

2006-09-20 [starry_bellend]: lol my fukin lamps just blown lol

2006-09-20 [sequeena_rae]: o.O Tis an omen from God xD

2006-09-20 [starry_bellend]: yes he is trying to tell me something ...

2006-09-20 [starry_bellend]: maybe its a cue to get a new lamp

2006-09-20 [sequeena_rae]: Or a new bulb lmao

2006-09-20 [starry_bellend]: ye thats probs it :P

2006-09-20 [sequeena_rae]: One that preferrably doesn't blow up, encouraging you to leave XD!

2006-09-20 [starry_bellend]: lmao

2006-09-20 [sequeena_rae]: As in the style of Slave McGuire xD

2006-09-20 [starry_bellend]: pmsl oh yes and that is some style lol one wrd TWEED!!

2006-09-20 [sequeena_rae]: It's like living in the Highlands lmao. The infamous jacket was worn today XD

2006-09-20 [starry_bellend]: oh ye i did notice lol

2006-09-20 [sequeena_rae]: And the skirt o.o; omg my eyes bleed at the thought xD

2006-09-20 [starry_bellend]: lmao ini lk

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